Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize