so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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