I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
