id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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