no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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