That's when you crack a 10am beer
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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