It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
