I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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