she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
