Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
