So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
