they need to just BURY HIM!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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