Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
