I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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