btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
