Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
