This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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