I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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