Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
