I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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