I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
