If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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