I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize