Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
