: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
