i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
