never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"