hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.