Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.