Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
