hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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