i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize