NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize