I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
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What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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