I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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