the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
