I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
