whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize