he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize