id be glad to
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
