I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
