Having a random hookup so left but love u
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
