I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
