doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
