just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize