I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
