Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
