no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
