yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
