Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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