i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
