So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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