Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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