and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
