I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
