I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
