So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
