Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
