Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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