You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
