Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  your room smells of hookers.

  (904): View more from Florida

  And success

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  (310): your room smells of hookers. (904): And success http://tfl.nu/jlzy
  Replies (10) Good night (1902) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.

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  (201): i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms. http://tfl.nu/0e58
  Replies (8) Good night (4423) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray

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  (306): I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray http://tfl.nu/enz4
  Replies (14) Good night (2446) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4976) Bad night (2705)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin

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  (989): you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin http://tfl.nu/ftsd
  Replies (3) Good night (3041) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?

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  (330): Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling? http://tfl.nu/xujd
  Replies (7) Good night (4747) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it

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  (814): well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it http://tfl.nu/ljcc
  Replies (18) Good night (4336) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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  (704): I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all. http://tfl.nu/3ryw
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.

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  (678): I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation... (404): I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud. http://tfl.nu/9qj8
  Replies (8) Good night (3846) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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  (401): Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen? http://tfl.nu/0v6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2407) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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  (415): I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go http://tfl.nu/rt1y
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

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  (732): My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally. http://tfl.nu/1mf9
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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  (510): You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us. http://tfl.nu/8vs9
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1056) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.

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  (+61): He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it. http://tfl.nu/rrnk
  Replies (3) Good night (763) Bad night (246)

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