Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2818) Bad night (738)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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  (503): i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean. http://tfl.nu/trho
  Replies (19) Good night (7046) Bad night (564)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (875) Bad night (3926)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4267) Bad night (1018)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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  (256): It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops. http://tfl.nu/42cm
  Replies (12) Good night (5929) Bad night (890)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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  (434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z
  Replies (37) Good night (8961) Bad night (1212)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3268) Bad night (1368)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...

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  (702): I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris... http://tfl.nu/90iy
  Replies (7) Good night (1898) Bad night (914)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"

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  (651): Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS" http://tfl.nu/3sn5
  Replies (3) Good night (1941) Bad night (677)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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  (908): After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher. http://tfl.nu/fy1c
  Replies (7) Good night (580) Bad night (1826)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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  (819): I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex. http://tfl.nu/mg33
  Replies (8) Good night (2573) Bad night (447)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (646)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.

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  (917): New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/1xcw
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (442)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.

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  (708): I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask. http://tfl.nu/zz6r
  Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (565)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window

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  (234): I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window http://tfl.nu/sgun
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (223)

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