He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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