First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
