how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain