Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx