brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!