Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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  (617): when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble http://tfl.nu/6bym
  Replies (10) Good night (1793) Bad night (811)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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  (973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now? http://tfl.nu/r8kl
  Replies (12) Good night (2800) Bad night (659)
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  (949): View more from California

  okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?

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  (949): okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong? http://tfl.nu/d7ju
  Replies (48) Good night (1894) Bad night (4812)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

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  (913): Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/zzio
  Replies (33) Good night (1300) Bad night (3361)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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  (765): let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/novi
  Replies (17) Good night (7287) Bad night (1193)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

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  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (3515)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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  (217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (775)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.

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  (936): uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again. http://tfl.nu/cxza
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (1897)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

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  (503): If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit. http://tfl.nu/71x6
  Replies (11) Good night (2269) Bad night (804)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

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  (419): Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test. http://tfl.nu/jxmi
  Replies (9) Good night (784) Bad night (2368)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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  (740): omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause. http://tfl.nu/xm5u
  Replies (5) Good night (1551) Bad night (555)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1717) Bad night (608)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me

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  (706): It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me http://tfl.nu/2th9
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (336)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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  (913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1
  Replies (3) Good night (349) Bad night (627)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE

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  (647): HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE http://tfl.nu/kj6q
  Replies (4) Good night (312) Bad night (718)

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