Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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  (908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c
  Replies (22) Good night (1462) Bad night (3622)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14790) Bad night (3463)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (1073) Bad night (6155)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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  (480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer http://tfl.nu/6ms6
  Replies (13) Good night (5111) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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  (801): He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark. http://tfl.nu/qvx8
  Replies (7) Good night (4250) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.

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  (910): He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel. http://tfl.nu/qsvc
  Replies (3) Good night (2788) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We should reintroduce naked Mondays

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  (662): We should reintroduce naked Mondays http://tfl.nu/agz2
  Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Wtf did you do last night?

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  (573): Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much? (636): Wtf did you do last night? http://tfl.nu/0xxc
  Replies (12) Good night (1801) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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  (865): it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina http://tfl.nu/yy9c
  Replies (16) Good night (2321) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage

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  (303): The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage http://tfl.nu/rn3i
  Replies (8) Good night (2429) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (397)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr

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  (330): do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr http://tfl.nu/tk9o
  Replies (0) Good night (774) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.

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  (513): It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is. http://tfl.nu/opxa
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.

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  (304): You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard. http://tfl.nu/xmly
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real

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  (973): I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real http://tfl.nu/poa7
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (529)

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